We all have childhood fantasies. A Picture embedded somewhere. The dream man, The princess, The one. Leaving us breathless, swept off our feet. in love, irrational, impractical or what is bollywoodishly referred to as Deewana. The popular culture and stereotypes define it. Age adds the details.
Lets say, in my case – the tall, dark, handsome. Someone who would be as matured as Tom Selleck’s Richard of FREINDS, as vulnerable as Tony Leung of Chunking Express and with the sex appeal of Patrick Swayze of Dirty Dancing… A Mini Orgasm!
And I guess for him a combination of Mamta Kulkarni & Nigella Lawson. The well endowed, The damsel with the mane you could loose your way in. In distress/ confusion, one you could take to your mother. Sex appeal+ Vulnerable+ Mature.
The reasons are ever changing but the basic structure remains the same.
But the childhood fantasies need to be locked up in the trunk under the bed because we live in the real world with real people where feminists romp breaking stereotypes and I guess the dream man is a myth only stupid films create. Urrrghhh.
People fall in love with real people and there are no writers scripting our lives and no cinematographer capturing the most perfect moments and no editors omitting the dull and unpleasant.
A few days back I, curiosity sake ran into very old write ups by him. One thing constant in all of them was his reverence (?) of romance. He looked up to a concept called love. His newer articles missed that tone altogether. The humility had disappeared completely. He was no longer at the mercy of an unfathomable force, greater than him.
Did he kill it? Is he hiding it? I have no idea! I asked the next day “The love you were looking for… d
id you get it?”
He didn’t answer at first and later said “People change. Wants change.”
Has real romance let him down? Is he convinced against it? Am I just a compromise?
This last question has haunted me many millions of times. It will continue to, I have a feeling.